My newest slaves

Hello again. Lovely to be back, I've finally succeeded in adding my paper bag to the Typist's RSS feed homepage which will hopefully encourage her to type for me more often.

Little update on taking over the world:

1. New Slaves - I'm happy to announce that I've acquired two new slaves and a lovely new house to add to my territory. They, of course, still think that they are independent and own the home that we're all living in but I just let them think that since it makes them happy. I've already trained the male to feed me in between the regular feedings my primary male slave gives me so I'm no longer prone to bouts of whining hunger. The new female is posing more of a problem, however. She hasn't yet been trained that the middle of the hallway is for CATS ONLY and so sometimes walks there. Last week she made the large error of not looking where she was going as she walked on the forbidden passage and stepped on me. I do, however, think that the punishment I dealt her of the silent treatment worked as she now is very careful about her feet. Just yesterday I took her off punishment and allowed her to play with me again.
2. New Internet $$$$ plan - I've been spending much of my time training my typist in internet strategies and SEO techniques. This will, I hope, prove very successful as I move away from the Squidoo internet scheme and onto a full-fledged internet takeover (aka marketing) scheme so as to conquer the world through that. Watch as I come out with cool new things....
   

So I continue the pursuit! I will HAVE THE WORLD!!!!!!
but first, I must bathe myself as the human just insisted on touching me.

Death of the computer(s) and a move...

Sorry to be gone so long folks. The typist went to CA for a while, then when she came back they packed up all my toys, stuck me in a car for 4 days with the dog and now I'm living in a new home where there is no snow and a lovely new human invention- the GLASS DOOR!!!! In there there was a series of 2 computer deaths which prevented updates. The Typist swears she'll be more available to my whims now. Which is how it should be. I allowed her to get away with it because she seemed to be always stressed. She seems a bit better now.

Back to the GLASS DOOR. I don't know why my humans didn't have one of these before, they are clearly the best way to define a portal into the outside. I can spend hours staring out of it and it's almost like I'm actually there. It's been warm here lately and I've been enjoying spending much of my time in front of it, enjoying the breezes that come through the screen door.

So now, from California, Aelou is back. And taking over the world... Just watch me. But first, a nap.

A new friend... back on the computer

My typist (aka the female human) has been very busy lately working on her own blog and getting some professional blogging jobs going. So she's not been willing to post for me much lately. Luckily this means that she's also not been working very terribly late at night and has been home. So more blogging from the cat to come soon.

How the stats stand on my take over of the world:
Two new converts.
Elaine has started joining us recently. She's my male human's mom and I'm always happy to hear her comments.

Sly - a fellow intellectual and feline personality taking up his appropriate share of space in internet world. Welcome! I'm glad we found you.

That's all for now. Must go attack the bed mice that inhabit the bed whenever the male human tries to sleep. It's my duty.

(note from the typist- Aelou thinks feet are bed mice, the best and juiciest of all mice but also the most elusive and therefore sought after...)

Sleeplessness

Mommy has been working nights lately. I don't think she likes this much, so to commiserate I have been leaving her 'love' gifts in bed for when she gets home. Unfortunately I don't think she likes this either...

In other news: I've officially conquered gravity. The apartment has many poles and pipes and such hanging from the ceiling which means that I no longer have to bow to the whims of nature and remain on the floor. This has lead to many new pouncing and hunting opportunities... Pictures to come soon.

ALSO!!! UPDATE ON THE DOG!!!
He's doing well, the old fogie. I think it was all a ploy to get to eat whatever he wants instead of the dry dog food the humans like to give him. He seems to be back to his old self, if a little less continent in the poop department. No outward signs of the cancer, so all is good! The vet was very pleased to be wrong, as are we all...

Sadness

Yesterday was horrible, perhaps the worst day of my life. Ok, so I think I must have short-term memory the humans tell me the worst day was when I was neutered. But yesterday was right up there. Here's what happened.

There I was, minding my own business, sleeping the day away on the bed when the female human came home. She tackled me, strapped me into the *DREADED HARNESS* and drug me and my trusty sidekick Thaddeaus to the car. Thaddeaus, my canine, has been having trouble breathing for the past couple of days and and I've been having trouble with urinating in weird places. It's not my fault, it hurts when I urinate so I wait until I can't hold it any more- sometimes I just don't make it!

So then we had to ride in the car, which is always disturbing. I tried to tell the female about how this makes me uncomfortable but she wouldn't listen. But the car ride got better because we picked up Daddy, who always makes things better and listens to me.

Then we got to the vet... It was uncomfortable and invasive, as these things tend to be. But the worst part is that it looks like my canine isn't doing so well. The doctor said he's on his last legs. They're going to give him a pill and let him eat whatever he wants and see if he gets any better. I don't want to loose my canine!

Working Hard

I've been working hard on getting warmed up to this whole Squidoo thing. I've been working on improving my two main lenses so far and adding the beginnings of some new ones. Also, if you're one of my fans, make sure to join my fandom group!

Crazy Cat

Today I once again showed the dog who is boss. For a while he thought he was winning, but as always I am superior. Now to do the same with the Squidoo world, which I am determined to conquer.

My goal? To best "Skills" (a lensmaster) at his own game. Creating one million lenses or making $6000 a month in residuals from my lenses. With some help from the human to type. Why? For the FAME!!! I want to be on Oprah!

Oh, and my female human promised that if I get on Oprah and take her with me she'll show me how to open the food bin... This army moves on it's stomach!

Video of conquered dog to come very soon...